Name That Film: Pet Peeves Edition!

“A day! Help. Help! Another day! Your prayers, oh passer by!”
-Emily Dickinson

Press one for English and please remain on the line.

A pet peeve is a minor annoyance but is not to be considered part and parcel of the family, nor ken it be claimed as a write-off on the taxes. Let’s not reinvent the wheel here people, but may we get down to brass tact’s?

Have you ever been in a confined arena with the constant reverberations of loud gum snapping? Know what I'm saying? Chew wanna permit for that?

There's no need to go Brooklyn, let’s just stick to the facts sir...

Ever been privy to an intimate cell phone conversation during the latest 10 dollar matinee? Perhaps it was during Saw 317? Do you know without a chance or an individual's choice, there’s no “I” in team?

Just make sure you know where and when you are before settling about to kneel down and pray or things could get a little hectic because....it's getting....it's getting...it's getting kinda hectic in this day and age! The stage has been set...know what I'm saying? Get the book out, ingest all the information and take time to digest, just don't throw it at me!

Ever had a disturbing dream about an invasion of the lane snatchers where the annoying cherry red sports car, weaving in and out of traffic, always speeds up, so as not to allow you to change lanes directly at your exit and strictly on purpose?

The term, “pet peeve”, first used in 1919, originated from the word ‘peeve’ because who doesn't hate being interrupted!

Do you believe…in telemarketers? Unsolicited advice? Using that pointer finger as a gun? Obnoxious doorbell ringers who bring a bad Beethoven? Double dippers while out on the neon town of light on a...egads...first date? Just imagine your best behavior with it's hands tied. Nowadays it's almost impossible to open a new compact disc without the hope of not splicing a digit, so you'd better think again. Could this material be thought of as suggestive? Double negatives might be seen as confusing which is why I almost always never use them.

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A reckless farmer may be one who, amid the seasonal harvest, spreads a seed that ken be construed as ill-tempered or ornery. Maybe he is one who sits high atop his tractor in judgment, overlooking the estate's vast property stretching for miles, jabbering on the cell phone not paying attention all the while, thus recreating the national phenomenon known currently as road rage for the angry mob collecting and spilling onto both sides of the fence.

Outside the mind of the afflicted a pet peeve will often seem illogical but as a rule you may rest assured, we aren't going anywhere and your call will be answered in the order it was received.

How ‘bout if you’re going to put me on a speaker phone, inquire first politely? This rule may in fact be considered golden. If you have purchased a 2nd hand book void of a cover, keep in mind, it may be considered stolen.

Who is this almighty form anyway without a face or a name currently ruling all the tiny creatures within the Cosmos? Has IT ever lumbered past a moving vehicle only to read in the window,” please remove before driving”? Were there reported casualties?

Extra....extra...read all about it, "Human thought once again falsified by tradition and custom amid an indescribable breed of rarities."

How ‘bout distracting drowning-the-very-essence-hold-music or the obligatory tip jar placed just so? For a medium coffee and a buttered bagel? Does this come with something in the backroom?

Please continue to hold.

I’m sorry, I may have been practicing active listening during a conversation we had many years ago and was temporarily distracted, did you just say something?

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What about machismos who leave the seat up in their best John Wayne hombre impersonation or prim and proper southern belles who commit the same in reverse? Just where is ground zero in this ongoing debate more ancient than anyone else reading today and could this be considered a curse? Let's get this straight....anyone riding the almighty rails of a train who sits with their legs spread wide only increases the hate as do people strapped with a shiny salamander's skin who ride their bikes in brightly colored outfits weaving in and out of the cluttered streets of traffic when the sidewalk is freely available.

If something is truly evil, ken it be necessary?

You were saying something? I'm stuck on hold. Could it have been the true script behind SOS: dash-dash-dash-dot-dot-dot-dash-dash-dash or is it in the complete reverse? Should this be filed under the logic of Murphy's Law or will it just continue to come back to bite us in the end? What about when the phone cord viciously tangles beyond all repair or if they all happen to be wire hangers, conglomeretly cluttered together like a small colony of fish trapped in a weather-proof net, or when cold callers will only speak to the man of the house, as if he makes any of the important decisions!

These are the visions that somehow come to be and may be considered real as rain.

Maybe you’ve come to witness a retail clerk who ignores the live customer standing right in front of them, only to assist another customer on an incoming call and are still unable to explain? How about when anyone stands in the line of sight for the t.v. if the ball isn’t going through Buckner’s legs, or when the moo-cows are in a deep conversation huddled in the way of a band of gypsys patiently wishing to use the escalator, just not like Will Ferrel in Elf?

Excuse me...I'd like ta get by now! Do I do...what chew do?

According to Webster, grocery carts with one bad wheel are highly distressing to certain tortured souls, so ask a doctor today if drug X is right for you! People, who take 20 napkins, use only one and throw the rest away are spies...spies, I tell you! Have you ever gone into the drive-thru to save precious time only to go all the way back when they forget the drinks or the apple pies? What about people who carry on a one-sided conversation, which is akin to a monologue with an underperforming audience & not worthy of the production costs on a daily basis. This logic is akin to when one fails to take a burly backpack into account when turning or backing, thus knocking the helpless, afflicted or unawares, immediately to the ground where the victim's only natural response is to cry out in their best Nancy Kerrigan,

"Whyyyyyyyyyyy?"

Cultivating a small country of remote controls to work the cable, Tivo, T.V. and any other audio visual ground control station, ken be viewed as a minor annoyance, strictly following the more is less theory much like jerks who take up two parking spots, because they somehow believe their automobile is worth more to you and them than yours. Then there’s the drivers who won’t use a turn signal or kids who tease a helpless dog through a fence.

Prepare the defense, we'll soon see you in joovie, Son!

Take a look. It doesn't happen that often but what about when the movie is actually better than the book...would that be a Catch22 or to kill a mockingbird? Suburban kids who dress like their straight out of Compton with their pants sagging when they are as white and enriched as a full
bellied moon...Or athletes who point to the sky after scoring, a la Papi, which may be viewed as annoying because it's been soooooo long and the Empire, right now, is more than strong. "Sweetness", the great RB, #34 from Da Bears of Chicago, was always graciously quoted as saying, "act like you've been there before..."

Isn't it always in the last place you look? Like the day the old man yelled and screamed at all the bewildered children lying sprawled at his feet, only to find his glasses firmly rooted upon his fuzzy head, right where he had left them.

Maybe you're taking a class for future advancement up the celestial corporate ladder and there's that one special student who likes to prolong the inevitable by asking the most inane ofquestions.
"So, to recap, the assignment just given is due...when?"

Conspiracy theories are paranoia personified and people who won’t turn right on red make some of the general population see more of the same and feel like spouting, "redrum" because YOU are to blame! The game of pointless babble is insufferable as are stupid human tricks that ken make an otherwise healthy person sick on the best of days. There are those insufferables with perfect hair and makeup that roll straight out of bed bright and chipper ready for another blissful day of contentment. No worries Will...I'll alert the media! Too much perfume/cologne reeks as does going to UPS to pick up a package...but to give information on a phone call to be better assisted only to repeat everything once a live person finally becomes available may be construed as excess mental baggage not worthy of a baggage claim.

There's always the service reps that don’t show up on the day appointed, even with an 8 hour window, which makes perfect sense...if you're a confused bear roaming in the woods during the season of hibernation!

If I could just sing a simple song...and teach the world to sing....know what I'm saying?

Please be courteous and turn off your cell phones and remember, you’ve no need to worry, if you’ve done nothing wrong.

I'm sorry, all our lines are currently busy, please hold for the next available agent. Incidentally, your call is very important to us.

Let's hear it for another fine introduction by our own bloodredsox! Blood graces this game each week with his unique style and flare. You can read more of the same on "The Blood Blog", here on Blogger! Before you run off to his page though, please take your shot at our little game first!

Directions: Read the movie quotes below and try to figure out what movie they came from. When you have an answer, or at least a guess, leave it in the comments section and I will get back to you and let you know how you did! That's it!!! Piece of cake!!! Good luck!

Before you begin, let me tell you that I had some trouble finding movies to fit this week's theme of "pet peeves". However, I did finally come up with 10 films that had actors in them who had strange quirks, or personality traits that drive others crazy. I hope that is enough of a lead for you.

1. "I'm sailing! I'm sailing! I'm sailing!!!...."

2. "How many toothpicks came out of that box, Raymond?"

3. "I used to drive Francis crazy. For a while she couldn't wear anything but my aftershave. I was impossible."

4. "What's you record for consecutive questions asked?"

5. "You can milk anything with nipples."

6. "When you say, "people", you mean "living people"?"

7. "I'm gonna make it do what it do, baby!"

8. "He's flying! He's flying!"

9. "What can I do for the Department of Defense?"

10. "Mr. Grady, you were the caretaker here."

Alright friends, let's see those answers! I think some are easy and some are more challenging. You can decide which ones.

Thanks for playing and see you next week for our next edition of Name That Film!!!